Ask the Edit: Vol. V, No. Thirty One

Post-holiday, end-of-summer blues are real.  So let’s spice up life with a few quick Ask the Edits.  You asked, I answered — including some thoughts on what to cope when you hate your job.

Hi,

I’m wondering if you still love your Rothy’s and if so? Preparing for a girls trip to NY and need something for all the walking adventures ahead, but I’m not really a sneakers-wearing woman. Thanks!

– MeG 

Yes, I do still love my Rothy’s.  In fact, I just bought this emerald green pair to wear this fall.  I chose the emerald over the chili red because I wanted a more subtle pop of color, but I may change my mind and end up with both.

Also, pro-tip, if you own more than one pair, buy another set of removable insoles.  I lost one on a trip and spent weeks swapping out the same left between two pairs of shoes.  They also have a bunch of fun colors, if you want to go that route.  And, if you have sweaty feet, you can be washing one pair while using the other.

Hi Abra,

Loved the leopard pants from last week.  Can you help me find a few other printed pairs?  I think this might be my fall look.

Sofia

It should come as no surprise to you that most printed pants are hideous.  Criminally hideous.  Like these Versace’s with Native Americans on them.  But I did find a few nice pairs.

I think this chain print River Island pair are a bold choice, but could be chic with a simple flat and a light blue sweater.  And this floral Wildfang print is a unique option.

Since the selection is so limited, I would advise you to try brightly colored pants in the alternative.  These dusty rose NY & Co pants would be phenomenal with a burgundy sweater.  These pine green Antonio Melani skinny pants are great with an ivory sweater and a leopard heel.  Plus-size? Try these cobalt Alfred Dunner pants.

Belle,

Do you have a favorite mousse or volumizing spray?  My hair is so flat since I grew it out that it just makes me want to cut it again.  

Thanks, Lara

I have two products that I recommend to people.  If your hair is flat at the roots, but fine everywhere else, you need Drybar Southern Belle Root Lifter.  It really gives my roots a boost when I want to wear a big updo or live all my South Texas hair dreams.

The second is just the same Pantene body boosting mousse for fine hair that I’ve been using since college in one form or another.  It’s a good mousse with plenty of utility and no weird smells.

Now, if you prefer a spray, Drybar’s May Tai is a great option.  I just don’t want to pay quite that much for my every day hair style.  This is also a great choice for people with a lot of natural texture.  When I had a perm last year, it was the best for the easy, beachy look.

Hello, Abra:

I love your #FitClub group.  One of the other members inspired me to try Orange Theory, and now to my wife’s chagrin, I am obsessed with it.  I’ll drag her with me eventually!  

The purpose of this email is not only to thank you, but to ask what workout shoes you wear.  You mentioned a LONG time ago that you have high insoles and arches; I do as well.  My guess is we might be shoe twins and I’m hoping you can help me find a new pair.  

Thank you.  Sincerely, Annalise

High arches, the worst.  High insoles, the second worst.  I have tried every pair of Nikes on Earth, twice.  But the only pair that has never made my feet go numb after five minutes are the Nike Zoom Trainers.  If you’re in between sizes go up.

My previous go-to shoe that I had to abandon because the colors got too weird was the Brooks Adrenaline running shoes.  They’re really light on the foot, which keeps my foot fatigue down to a manageable amount.

Hi Abra,

Do you have any suggestions for healthy coping techniques when you are unhappy at work? Sometimes I try to do things like wear bright colors, get in extra early and have some tea while I’m starting to tackle my day, plan vacations to look forward to, or mentally list out things I’m grateful for, but sometimes that doesn’t feel like enough. Any guidance would be greatly appreciated. Thank you!

~Trying to stay positive

During a particularly rocky period in my career, I made the mistake of soothing my wounds with alcohol.  I didn’t realize that I was developing a problem until I was drinking during the day and didn’t think anything of it.  So I always caution women who are in a rough patch to start avoiding the bars, especially in D.C. where people put the functional in functioning alcoholic.

That being said, I used to schedule plans with friends.  Anything I could look forward to.  Baseball games, plays, trips, etc.. Then, I would just count the days.  Shortening my career into manageable blocks made it less maddening.

Another trick I used was meditation.  In the days before apps, I used to sit quietly at my desk after lunch and clear my mind.  Then, I would focus on one thought, “It is a job.  It does not define you.  It puts money in your pocket.  Run it, don’t let it run you.”  This would get me through long afternoons.

If your traditional coping mechanisms are failing, it’s time to get a move on.  Slowly update your LinkedIn so it doesn’t draw attention.  Schedule coffees and touch base with lots of people in your network.  And get your resume right.

When people ask how work is going, just say, “I’ve been thinking about making a change,” but be really positive about it. People want to help other people, and they want to help you more if you seem like you’re leaving because you want to, not because your miserable.

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