Once You Pop…

Yesterday, a co-worker was watching the news when an infomercial came on for Booty Pop: the underwear that pad your derriere. 

Initially, I was skeptical about the appeal of such a product. After all, the first question most women ask when they try on new pants is: Does this make by butt look big? 

But beyond the products market share, there are other things about BootyPop that I find puzzling.

1) Is adding a bit of a volume to the rear a good reason to wear Granny Panties?  Because Booty Pop wearers are risking serious VPL, and I’m not sure that that is the kind of attention they want their tush to be receiving.

2)  What happens when the pants covering your Booty Pop come off?  Men have accepted that padded bras are par for the course, but are they willing to accept padded underwear? 

And given how nervous women are about being caught in flagrante while wearing Spanx, wouldn’t you be terrified of exposing your hidden enhancements?

3)  Caramel Nude? Black Licorice? Why must the colors have food names?  This is a level of fetishism that makes me uncomfortable.

4)  Finally, I know that infomercials are all a bit kitschy and over the top, but the copy on this website is unfathomably cheesy.  Their about page actually claims (in jest) that wearing Booty Pop will make you so desirable to men that they will become unable to control themselves in your presence, placing you in need of personal security. 

After all, I can’t count the number of times I have been physically accosted by a man on the street who couldn’t control himself around my ample backside. 

I understand that some women weren’t blessed with as much booty as God (and Colonel Sanders) gave me, but are women running out to buy padded undies?  I find it all a bit extreme, but that might be because I’m always trying to make my booty smaller.