Another month has come and gone. Let’s dig into the mail bag and answer some reader questions, some from e-mail some leftover from an AMA I did this weekend.
What’s on your Christmas list this year?
I really haven’t given it a ton of thought. Usually, I would have chosen a gift by now, but life has been frantic. I’ve been looking at this March Hare watch, a Cartier tank style timepiece. The only thing on my lust list those is this rug (I know, I’m old.) that Emily showed me in February and now I can’t stop thinking about it.
About to get married — any general advice?
I’ll give you the advice that my Dad, a divorce attorney for 45 years gives: Resentment in a marriage is toxic. Couples can heal almost any rift if they both want to, but once the resentment creeps in, get counseling, because resentment is a poison.
Need low-rise jean/pant recs. Hiatal hernia = no high rise. Too painful.
Congratulations! Low rise is back. You may be the only woman over the age of 25 happy about that development, but I am glad it’s benefitting someone. Because my post-pregnancy belly needs the support.
Back in the day, these AG Angels were my go-to, must have low-rise jean. Slight bootcut, sleek fit, very flattering on the rear view. Also come in a rusty corduroy.
Looking for a looser, more modern jean? These light wash Lou Lou jeans from Joe’s are also fab, straight out of The OC.
Need trousers? Go to the place the young people shop: Abercrombie. Stop laughing, I’m serious. These wide leg trousers come in several colorways, and sizes run 24-37. They also have many other low-rise options, so this could be a gold mine for the right person.
Please tell me what to do about a MIL who refuses to make the one Thanksgiving dish I love and pitches a fit when I bring it, even though everyone else eats it. For clarity, it’s green bean casserole using my MawMaw’s recipe.
Take your casserole. Thanksgiving is about tradition and family. Your Mother In Law has every right not to take on the cooking of another dish, but she does not get to block you from engaging in a tradition that is clearly meaningful to you. Just take it in a disposable container so there’s no lingering issues with returning serving dishes.
My nails are trashed from months of gel manicures, what can bring them back?
My manicurist only sells this OPI Nail Envy. She only recommends this product. She’s basically an OPI Nail Envy dealer. I’ve used it and it works well and quickly.
How are you feeling post-election? I feel like everyone is so quiet right now.
In 2016, I was surprised by the outcome. I think that deepened my reaction. In 2024, I was not surprised. And the prior Trump presidency has taught me that sustaining outrage is almost impossible, and harmful to your health. So I’m being tactical and strategic about how I choose to involve myself in politics these days.
People are quiet because we’re tired. No matter who they voted for, almost everyone I know is worn out by what has been a four year onslaught of campaigning, followed by a whirlwind election season. People’s reluctance too engage is not born of a lack of interest or caring, just exhaustion. In a world where so much will be uncontrollable and unpredictable, I think a lot of people on both sides of the ticket are just choosing to focus their energies inward for the time being until they have something tangible to respond to.
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I second the OPI Repair Bond. It repaired my nails after the one gel manicure I’ll ever get, and fixes the normal flaking/chipping issues I have.
It’s after Thanksgiving so this is moot, but I wonder about the advice to the green bean loving DIL. Has she and her spouse ever talked with the MIL about the casserole? It’s seems pretty rude to, every year, ignore the hostesses preferences and clear feelings so one can keep ones personal traditions alive. If the hostesses really hates it, maybe make it any of the other 364 days of the year? You can imagine a letter from the MIL: please tell me what to do about a DIL who ignores my careful meal planning and disrespects my clear requests in order to bring her grandmother’s dish which I hate/am allergic to/is terrible/is fine but she’s so rude about it, etc.
Thanksgivings are family gatherings, not Michelin-star cooking competitions. If you insist on hosting, you need to make room for the traditions of your family members. The idea that “careful meal planning” should take precedence over something that clearly means a lot to a relative is silly. She’s not asking the host to make it, she’s just asking to bring it. Imagine it was Christmas and someone who married into your family had a small, meaningful tradition that would take nothing away from the celebration — like a person who liked watching a certain movie — maybe you hate the movie, but blending families is about blending, not pouring oil into vinegar and then blaming the vinegar for not falling into place without a good shake.
Is the OPI product you recommend Nail Envy or Repair Mode? Your message says Nail Envy but the link is to Repair Mode. Thanks for the clarification!
Your dad is SO smart. Years of resentment set the stage for my divorce. There were other factors, of course, and I’m so much happier now. But, resentment creates breaks and tears things apart.
Resentment is like water. It flows into cracks, freezes, and splits things apart.